Forgiving others: How do we do it?

Whenever my kids hit, kick, or yell at eachother, their mom or myself will remind the offendor to apologize and for the victim to tell their sibling that they are forgiven. The question becomes then, "Is that all you have to do to forgive someone?" Forgiveness is hard work, which is probably why it is such an essential part of love. If someone says something that deeply hurts or offends you, or maybe even physically harms you, what do you do exactly to forgive them?



Telling someone that they are forgiven means that you are committing to no longer harboring any anger, hurt, frustration, etc. against them. Forgiveness means you will not remind the person of what they had done or by any other means try to instigate guilt or shame from them because of what happened. We learned in the Expressing Love series that not keeping a record of wrong doings is part of what defines what love is. In order to do this appropriately, it requires great patience. Patience, not coincidentally, is also a defining attribute of love.



Share of a time that you were forgiven of something (anonymous comments are OK). How did it make you feel? Just think of what the world would be like if more people were actively forgiving others. To make the question smaller and more local, what do you think your community would be like if that were case? How about your workplace, or your household?

Suggested Reading: Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

I am currently reading  "Love and Respect," after our church small group went through a workbook and DVD together based off this book. The book has helped me learn something profound. Women need to feel loved and men need to feel respected. I highly recommend this reading for anyone who has ever been in a relationship, plans to one day be in a relationship, has ever had a fight with a loved one, or who is married. Even if you know you want to be single for the rest of your life, you should still read this book.